Are you sometimes – even frequently – plagued by a deep, corrosive self-doubt: feeling you’re not good enough?

We take on such beliefs early in life, concluding from whatever happened, that it was we who didn’t measure up.

Once the belief in our own terminal inadequacy is taken to heart, we accumulated evidence to support it. And at the same time, we ignore evidence to the contrary. Buried deep within the subconscious, this belief rules our lives without our even noticing. We may try to address it by surface strategies such as positive affirmation. Yet it remains unmoved. It is embodied, and cannot be changed by mere mental shifts.

Our identity becomes shaped by this core belief. Every day our micro-choices are directed by “not-good-enough.” We may act bold and brassy, trying to cover up our own sense of inadequacy. We may bully others, making us feel important. We may even be mousy – fading into the woodwork, avoiding standing out, avoiding being seen. The core belief rules our lives, unseen. 

Under the influence of self-doubt, we don’t step up to support someone being bullied. We’re of being seen. We don’t volunteer for something we’d love to do, because we don’t already know how to do it. We don’t follow opportunities that come to us in life because we’re afraid people will discover how inadequate we are. 

We focus on staying safe, not on being effective. Decisions based on fear have a very poor track record. If we were a horse terrified of a barn fire, we might run away from the entrance and back into our stall where we feel safe. Feeling safe isn’t the same as being safe.  

So what do we do? The first step is noticing. Once we notice a pattern of choice-making seeming to run on its own, we can take the next steps. See Part 2 of Not Good Enough.